You guys. I’m tired. I have been exhausted lately (for the last 11 years?). I know, I know, everyone who is a mom is tired. I get that but I’m talking lay on the couch all day and can barely get up tired. I’m not cleaning my house, keeping up with laundry, getting groceries, or getting much of anything done. I feel like there is a veil between me and life and it’s all happening on the other side of the veil and I’m unable to participate. All interactions feel murky and I don’t really feel like I get to be a part of life around me.
I chalked it up to life being really, really full. We have five kids and we had kids in two different schools last year. I recently had a baby. We just moved. I always felt like I was running running running from here to there and always felt behind. Being tired is just part of life, right?
I don’t remember what pushed me to order bloodwork for myself. I didn’t even know it was a thing until I did and took the printout to the lab. The results came back in a few days and my thyroid antibodies are really high. My t3 and t4 and tsh are all within normal though so no doctor would have ever thought to check my antibodies. And no doctor seems to know what to do with me.
I had to go for an ultrasound on my thyroid to rule out nodules/cancer and there were none, but it is enlarged. I’m pretty sure I have hashimotos but it’s in the early stages so my t3, t4, and tsh aren’t affected yet (though we’re doing more blood work this week to double check on that).
I’m overwhelmed though. An autoimmune thyroid disorder means a lot of lifestyle changes for the rest of my life. No 30 days of ‘clean eating’ but a lifetime of giving up certain food groups. Not saying yes to everything but saying no more and more and figuring out how to lower stress in our lives. Learning how to avoid exposure to chemicals that might be bothering me. It’s exhausting to just learn about it all!
Anyway, if you know me and wondered what the heck is wrong with me there it is. I’m not myself and I hope I can figure out how to feel better.